Arrivederci 2007!! Benvenuto 2008!!

Normally New Year's Eve is a quiet time of reflection for me. But today was filled with much driving and shopping for me. I got up early and got ready to drive to my mom's. This is about an hour drive depending on traffic and weather and number of stops. I had to get to my mom's early so we could then get into her SUV and drive to Boardman (about another 45 miles). We had to shop for the Baby Shower that we are throwing for Amber in a couple weekends. We were successful in finding lots of cute decorations and party stuff. It only took hours but it was done!

Got back to my mom's unloaded her car and then got back in my car to head back to Pittsburgh for my quiet evening at home.

Tonight has been even quieter than usual as I am exhausted from all the running around during my break. I really just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep.

But the big question...To make or not to make a resolution...that is NOT my question! I stopped making the stupid things quite some time ago. I do not need to add any more pressure or stress to my life. I do however make it my goal to add more healthy things to my life. However, before I get to setting those I want to take a look back at some of the things that I have learned this last year.

Things I have learned in 2007:

1. When your car gets frozen shut and the streets are iced over you get to work from home. And nobody questions you!
2. It is quite acceptable to wear a hat, a hood, gloves, coat, two scarves (one outside and one inside the coat) and multiple layers of clothing to stay warm.
3. PA Car inspections are a rip off. But family who can fix the troubles is a huge help! (thanks!)
4. Physical therapy helps heal when done properly. Falling down wet steps still sucks!
5. Doing taxes for multiple states SUCKS! And doing my taxes late did not kill me.
6. Small changes over time = big results and big rewards.
7. Breaking a crown can be an experience that makes you a celebrity in your dentist office.
   I heart my dentist and his staff!! Oh, and, fixing a crown takes a whole summer if you want to get it right! And YAY!!! IT is finally right!!! Oh, swallowing a gold crown will not hurt you! It does make a good drinking story though.
   
8. Playing softball rocks!!!
9. Spending time with my sisters rocks! I am even willing to sleep on couches and floors to make this happen. It sucks but I will still do it if I get to see them! I will even stand outside in a torrential thunderstorm with an umbrella over the grill to make sure dinner is perfect! Not that the umbrella helped keep me dry in any way!
10. When you arrive to a date and your date is already wasted at the bar...RUN the other way VERY FAST!!!
11. Making new girlfriends has been WAY more fun than dating silly men!
12. There are a LOT of bridges in Pittsburgh and I think I can hit them all trying to drive from point A to point B. Just ask Sophia or Andy they were my willing passengers on grand adventures!
13. Hitting rock bottom does not kill you. Bruise you, sure. In the end you get back up and figure out how the fuck you are going to get out and move forward. It will be okay.
14. There is good Mexican food, good Sushi and good Italian food in Pittsburgh!
15. You can maintain friendships across the miles. It just takes a little attention and patience.
16. I am happy.
17. Taking the bus is good for me, good for the planet and good for my car! A minor inconvenience that will have huge benefits.
18. I am a good person and people really do like me. :-)
    
19. Losing weight is NOT a race; it is NOT a demand to be met; it is NOT anyone else's journey but mine. I am handling it slowly, steadily and in my own way. I am happy with how far I have come and I can see where I am going. Finally!
20. Ask and ye shall receive...just be sure you know what you want before you ask!
    
21. There are messages from the universe all over the place if you are courageous enough to look.
    
22. I am loved. I am cherished. I am missed. I am really loved. I am respected. And I know it!
23. Meditation works. Meditation rocks. Meditation will become a bigger and more regular part of my life.
24. Laying on wet grass or a rocky driveway and being very still is the best way to watch a meteor shower.
    
25. There are places where you can't buy alcohol on Sunday but you CAN buy a gun! This is of course after you have had a good breakfast and hot coffee.
    

Less of Me

Normally, people would not be excited about getting on a scale after the holidays. I was not excited but I was not fearful or guilt ridden this time. Today was the last weigh in of 2007 for me and the me that is sitting here today is different than the me I was at the start of the year. For that I am grateful and hopeful.

The last week has been c-r-a-z-y but somehow I was able to find balance and make it work for me as I am down 2 lbs. from last week. For the month of December I am down 7.4 lbs. Woo Hoo!!! I made it through the holidays and bucked the norms!!!

To be at this point at the end of 2007 is absolutely exciting for me. For the very first time I am consistently working towards my goals. I am not in a hurry and I am not going very fast but I am moving forward! I am looking forward to 2008 and I am so excited to not be dreading the new year as I am lighter than I was a year ago! Next year I will be even lighter, that much I can guarantee!

I plan to spend the next couple days reflecting on how far I have come and making some plans for more forward progress and more weight loss. Stay tuned for more from me...

Christmas Craziness...

I am going to need a vacation from my Christmas vacation! :-(

I have been baking like crazy. I got packages in the mail this week.
I got cards into the mail sometime ago. I have packages wrapped.
I baked some more snowballs last night...still have powdered sugar
all over the kitchen!

I still have some baking to do...not sure when I will be able to get it
done. I am wrapping up grades at work. I have some minor items to
finish and then I am off starting at 12 Noon. Atleast, I am still
hoping to get out of here at noon today!

Then the fun really starts...

Friday afternoon I drive to Wellsville. I need to pick up one last gift
on my way to Ohio. Then I will probably help with things at my
mom's for the day. Friday night we are going to drive to
Gettysburg. We will be meeting up with Barbie and Kyle on
Saturday since they are not coming in for the holiday. We return to
Ohio Saturday night. I return to my home in Pittsburgh at some
point on Sunday to feed the cat. Then head back to Ohio bright
and early Monday morning to get things in order for the big family
get together for Christmas Eve. Then do the big family get together
and then clean up and then...and then...YIKES!!!

Please make it stop!

Why do things have to get so hectic and crazy? I pray for peace and
for calm over the next few days. I pray that Christmas is quiet and
no one is grumpy!

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

10 Random Facts about Nicole

This was done on Myspace back in November. My good friend Dana requested that I do this on there. I was re-reading it and thought it might be something fun to put on my new blog.

So in the spirit of full disclosure I am putting out a list of 10 random facts or habits or quirks or goals or whatever. Drum roll, please...

In the words of Lexi Grey...
"Maybe now you can hate me a little less."
(I live for Thursday nights and Grey's!!!)

1. I am neurotic about knowing details, plans, everything and anything that puts me at ease. It is ironic that lately people keep coming into my life who are trying to teach me to go with the flow, relax and don't plan, just be. Ugh! I am trying, really I am but I am me and I am a bit neurotic. I do try to hide it but sometimes I do not succeed.



2. I am addicted to pickles. Seriously. I don't remember the last time I went to the grocery store and did not buy some. I eat them all the time. They need to be crisp and crunchy. I do not think I could live without them. I believe that this is due to the fact that when I was in the womb my mom ate pickles, lots and lots of them.



3. I miss Los Angeles. I miss the 405. I miss good and easily accessible wine. I miss driving up the coast on a hooky day to get fresh lobster and sit in the sun next to PCH and the ocean. I miss sitting at the Vintage Tea Leaf or Elixir with Julie for hours talking about life and love and the lack/possibility in both! I miss watching football in the football room at Heidi's house. The football room rocked!! Almost as hard as Heidi...who I miss terribly.



4. I love living in Pittsburgh. Really, really love it. I have reduced my stress level hugely. I have made some amazing new friends. I am near my family. I am going to be an aunt. I enjoy the time I spend with my family immensely. They are really amazing people! And at times they drive me nuts. Ah, family! Dating here is not easy but nothing worth having ever is!!! And my apartment finally feels like home!



5. I thrive when I have creativity in my life. Museums are a lovely way to spend a day. Painting is a joyous adventure. Writing is a passion. Making jewelry is a new found love. Scrapbooking is fun. Anything that I can play with and make something from is an amazing thing for me in my life.



6. I hate looking weak or incapable to anyone ever. Ever! Looking like a failure haunts me. I want people to like me. Always!



7. I want to write and publish a book or three. I will write and publish a book or three. I have so much to say and I will do this one day very soon.



8. I want to go to Italy. I want to go for a month minimum to paint, write, drink wine, eat and enjoy all the wonders of Italy. I want to get married in Italy. I want a quaint ceremony at sunset in the countryside of Tuscany.



9. I enjoy baking and am really good at it. I enjoy cooking and am good at that too. But I don't do either very much since I live alone. I am excited about the holidays coming since I have been started getting threats of blackmail for Christmas cookies. No threats! Please!!! I am looking forward to cookie day with the coolest kids around-- Clay, Taylor and Joey, oh and Amber! A kitchen full of warm sugar cookies, icing and kids. What more can one ask for at Christmas?



10. I would kill for a full body deep tissue massage with hot stones or a Dharma pedicure at the Paint Shop.

Welcome to my craziness....stay as long as you would like!

Sushi and Shopping

Last night I met Cindy (yay for girlfriends) at the Waterfront for Sushi!!! Yum! I am so grateful to have found good sushi in Pittsburgh and of course a great friend who eats sushi!

Our weather has been weird, last week we had snow and this week we had a record high temp on Tuesday of 67! Yesterday we were supposed to get freezing rain so when we got to the Waterfront and the sky was clear we were happy that we might actually get to enjoy the shopping area and walking around after dinner.

Cindy and I must annoy the servers at Yokoso but we don't care and we tip well! We got there and just wanted to relax a bit but the server was there every two seconds. We did finally order and then settled in on recapping life. When we were finished with dinner we realized that we could go walk around the shopping area and just have fun. Gotta love the 39 cent store! Lots of cards and stuff for everyday & the holidays! Then of course it was time to play in Bath & Body Works. Girls and smelly bath products what a nice place to just explore. We both found some nice sleepy time spray for your linens and boy did I sleep well last night! We wandered into this game and calendar shop and I proceeded to knock over a display. This would have been funny and expected if I had been drinking and acting stupid but I was sober! The guy working there thought it was funny and since we were buying stuff he did not mind. Not to mention it was like we had the Waterfront all for ourselves last night! There was no one there! Yay for shopping with no crowd!

We wrapped up our shopping and headed off to our homes with plans to get together after Christmas.

I can not believe that Christmas is less than two weeks away! My how time flies!

More soon!

Gratitude for Saturday

Today I am grateful to have plans to get to see my baby sister!!!

Today I am grateful for relaxing at home with a nice glass of wine.

Today I am grateful for finding a new girl to make my hair pretty. :-)

Oh, and, I am grateful that USC is going to be playing
in the Rose Bowl (again!) on New Year's Day.
Fight On!



Today I am grateful for fuzzy, warm, red slipper socks!!!

Attitude of Gratitude

Today I am grateful for new friends as they have added so much goodness and joy to my life.

Today I am grateful for old friends as they have continued to hold me up and support me with their love and kindness.

Today I am grateful for being at a good place in my life and knowing it!

Today I am grateful for remembering that I had wool socks.

Today I am grateful for being.

Thank You.

Namaste.

Brrr...It's Cold

Mostly Cloudy

12°F
Feels Like
12°F

And Now I know why I did not want to get out of bed this morning!

It's Official...It's Here!

Winter has arrived!!!

The view when I walked out the front door.

Walking down my street to hopefully get another bus.
Mine came early!
What bus comes early on the first big snow day!?!?!
Ugh.

The snow was nice from my office window! :-)

I am home for the night and heating the oven to bake some cookies.

Yum.

It's Beginng to look alot like Christmas

Look at what I have accomplished this weekend. :-)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Oh, and, I am holding out for a white Christmas this year! :-)

I will post pics if it happens!

Oh Sweet Victory

Ah, the smell of Roses!!!

USC 24 - UCLA 7!!!!!!

Trojans clinch Rose Bowl berth

Hector Aguilar and USC mascot Traveler VII wait in

the Coliseum tunnel before the start of the game Saturday.

(Gary Friedman / Los Angeles Times)

December 1, 2007

Today ended up being a really good day!!

Good Intentions

My intentions for the day were to take lots of nyquil, sleep and knock this cough out of my body and make my throat feel normal again. After sleeping in, a hot bath, lots of tea and nyquil I thought I would work on some writing. But I needed to find something...

I did not find what I was looking for but what I did find was quite timely! I found a journal from the time I was getting divorced. It was not a consistent writing time for me but that seems to make sense looking back now. However, there are some very insightful entries but the best one was one that I believe I needed to see NOW.

From a journal entry:

"Here's a reason for using these questions-- by doing so you acknowledge that it isn't the answers that matter, but the process of asking. You stop focusing on when ______ happens, then you will _____. You start saying, "Now is now, I am okay, and I can start living in the flow now, where everything is valuable."

"Today's Intention: To notice when I focus on the end result, the goal, rather than the unfolding path."

Yet another gentle reminder from the universe! Be present. Be aware. Breathe! Just breathe and be where you are. I am guessing that I will keep getting these "reminders" (universal smack upside the head) until I relax into my flow and accept the present for the present it is and just be.

*sigh*

Now is now.

I am okay.

I AM OKAY!

I am.

A Very Quick Recap of Events

I thought I would take a moment to recap and catch some of you up on the happenings in my life.

Where to begin...I was born one winter day in January...No! that seems a bit too far back! :-) Okay, seriously though...quick recap time...

Summer 2005: Girls State in June, got divorced in August

Fall 2005: Serious football time in the fabulous football room, made Thanksgiving dinner with Heidi, got a big raise at work finally! Learned about living on my own

Christmas 2005: got my first tree all on my own, held a dinner party at my place for my family of friends, celebrated Christmas with my LA family

January 2006: celebrated my birthday for over a week! You only turn 33 once!

April 2006: became an auntie to Marco Cesare Torre on 04/05/06!!!

Spring 2006: served as temporary Student Services manager and tried to start figuring out my life, lived through normal and not so normal crap at work.

Summer 2006: Girls State at Fresno State and the Governator! Started applying for jobs back East!

September 2006: phone interviews during the first week of classes at UCLA! talk about multi-tasking! ;-)

October 2006: flew to Pittsburgh for interviews and was offered job at Carnegie Mellon on Friday 13th! Spent the weekend in Wellsville and then flew back to LA to plan a cross-country move. Went to the UCLA-Washington State Game at the Rose Bowl (Marco's 1st football game!)

Alessandro, Heidi and Marco @ Rose Bowl October 2006

November 2006: Big month!

• movers came Thursday, November 2nd;
  
• last day of work Friday, November 3rd;
  
• going away party Sunday, November 5th;
  
• packed up car and started my cross-country drive Tuesday, November 7th;

• arrived at mom's Friday, November 10th with NO SPEEDING TICKETS!!!
• moved into new apartment Wednesday, November 15th
• started new job Monday, November 20th
• spent Thanksgiving with family in Ohio and went Black Friday shopping for the 1st time!
  

December 2006: fought forever with the cable company to get cable; USC lost to UCLA; went on my first post-divorce date; spent Christmas in Ohio with my whole family! Went to my first Steelers game on Christmas Eve.


That gets you to the start of 2007...which will be discussed in another blog soon!

I think that should catch you up if you have been out of the loop.

(Repost) A VERY Important Week!!!!

This was originally posted in 2007 for Troy Week. When I woke up this morning and discovered the Bear painted at UCLA, I could not help but think this is still relevant! Fight On!

Enjoy this repost...

TROY WEEK!!!!!

(this is Tommy Trojan wrapped up and being protected for the week)

Fight On Trojans!!!!

Beat UCLA!!!!

One thing that I have always known is that I am a west coast football fan. Having lived on the West Coast and East Coast now as an adult I can confirm that the West Coast is the best place for football viewing. This is simply due to the time difference. It is not because they have better fans because let's be honest most in Los Angeles are unaware that football even exists. I was fortunate to be affiliated with USC & UCLA for my 15 years living in Los Angeles! So it never once eluded me or my scope of what is most important in this world!!! College Football Rivalry Saturday!!!! Last year I cried (hard) when my cable was not hooked up in time for the big game. Should have known that was just the start of a not so good day on a whole! But we will win this year!!!

This years game will be played at the Coliseum. A place that I love and will always have a special place in my heart! This years game is for the PAC-10 title and a trip to the Rose Bowl! This game is what they play the game for folks!!!

So whether you are for USC or UCLA grab a seat and a drink for one of the greatest games of the season!!!

Go USC!!!

Beat UCLA!!!!


***Please refrain from throwing any M&M's. If you must throw something throw a carrot! And all beer bottle brawls must take place in the back yard!***

Healing My Heart

They say time heals
the broken heart
I guess that is a good place for one to start
but…not tonight
Time stands still

Creeping, slipping by, dragging me down

Tonight

I hurt tonight

Oh, I ache…yeah, that’s right

I have given up the fight

Tonight

I

Hurt

Tears sting my eyes and bring little comfort to my beating heart

Fears invade my serenity pushing the teardrops to the ground

Why have I failed and been let down



Deep sadness fills

my

dreams

Lost ---
----abandoned -----

----hopeless-----

Emptiness beyond words

My Dreams

Where have they gone?


© copyright 2007 by Nicole M. Willis

Scoperta del Nicole (discovering nicole)

Welcome to my little piece of the web!

I have started two blogs under a name and title that just does not suit me any longer. I have had a blog on my Myspace page for almost two years now but again it is not *me* any longer.

It is pouring and pounding down rain right now and I have been stumbling over finding a title for my blog. So what IS me? I am still working on discovering that and it is appropriate that I have settled on Discovering Nicole!

It has been a couple years of change for me. I am settled in Pittsburgh. I have been creating a new life here for myself. Before I can make more changes it is time to figure out exactly who I am...so welcome to my journal and stick around as long as you like.




We can discover what is at the end of the rainbow together!