Do YOU know what makes your Heart Sing?

I do! I do! I do!

Just a few of my favorite things that make my heart sing....

*fresh coffee in the morning *fuzzy mittens *the ocean at sunset

*fresh sushi *breakfast in bed * red wine *warm hug *flannel pajamas

* a good book *fresh baked bread *twinkling lights at christmas

*mistletoe kisses *fireflies dancing across the grass at dusk

*hot bath after a long day * sleeping in

*first snow * a connection that is pure *slow dancing

*gentle smile when all is failing *glass of wine next to the ocean

*reassuring smile across the table *the ocean at sunset *dark chocolate

*trees in the fall *having my head rubbed as I fall asleep

* art - viewed and created *beautiful scarves

*laughter *cooking for those I love *kisses on my neck *raspberries

*quiet walks *a night in with movies and popcorn *sunday paper in bed

Blocked, Stuck, WTF????

I keep trying to write a blog, a note in the journal and even attempted to write handwritten letters and nothing wants to flow out of me as far as writing goes! I am beyond annoyed and frustrated.

But I wanted to let you know that I am learning so much about myself and even putting a bunch of stuff into practice. I am feeling more grounded and better balanced but still have work to do! :-)

I am getting ready to take my first vacation in the Fall! I am thrilled beyond words to finally have some time to just do nothing. I will be in Los Angeles for a week and can not wait to see what this trip has in store for me. Watch for updates on that soon!

How do I get out of being stuck and blocked with writing??? Well, I just start writing and posting. So bear with me as this may be a bit boring or even dumb. If anyone has any suggestions on getting unstuck comment or email me.

Alive, Well, and BUSY

I just published a piece I wrote back in July because somehow it got lost in the hectic time, otherwise known as my summer.

I am alive. I am well, albeit, exhausted! I am beyond busy!

I will be working on some updates soon and still have to recap my travel adventures from months ago! More to come, more to come!

Ciao!

Moving?!?! Not so fast...

I have been looking for apartments for months now. A month ago I found the one I wanted at a really amazing price and in the neighborhood I wanted to move to for the next chapter in my life.

I had been less than excited about the move but some how thought that it was what I wanted. I made arrangement to sign my lease and get my keys last week. I headed out to the appointment only to find out that the place had been flooded and the damage was pretty bad. It was uninhabitable and it would take some time for them to do the repairs and restoration. I was out of a new place. I was a bit sad, a bit panicked and a bit hopeful. I spent the end of last week on a bit of a whirl looking at place after place after place after place after place...and on and on. I was shown places that were not even what I was looking for and shown places that I would really not ever want to live in and shown places that did not even meet my requirements. So frustrating!

I meditated on it and I thought about while driving around neighborhoods and I dreamed about it...I am staying put. I have to go talk to my current leasing company and get a renewed lease worked up but for whatever reason I am supposed to stay put. Not sure what this means but it was very clear to me that I am where I am supposed to be and should just sit with this for a while as some is on the horizon for me.

So I am listening, I am staying here and I am hugely grateful for what I have.

Just ONE of THOSE Days!!!

Got home and knew...I dropped my bag inside the door, went to the bedroom to change into walking clothes. Walked back toward the front door grabbing some items along the way: mala beads, sharpie marker, post-its, ipod, water and keys.

Out the front door and head phones in and I hit play angrily. I am heavy today. I provided support to so many today and yet I am certain that some do not see the value or the worth. I am disappointed. I am angry. I am almost at the top of the hill before I realize where I am, as I pause at the red light I feel the anger coursing through my veins. My feet are heavy and my legs are wobbly but I press on and push through the fear of knee pain from earlier in the day.

My breathing quickens and the sweat is beading on my body and tears stinging, threatening to fall but I hold them back. I trade smiles with a lady walking in the other direction. My body eases into a rhythm...I am at the gate to the park. Oh, the world is heavy on me today and yet I keep moving.

The park seems magical today. The lush green trees open their arms and seem to wrap me in love. The leaves seem to envelope me, pushing me along the path and silence surrounds me in the midst of all the swirling action. Just as I start to think how fat and hideous I am I hear the gentle whispers all around start to swirl around my head. Messages of hope, love and support. The most beautiful little girl is biking up the hill and as we pass we connect and her smile fills me with all I need.

I am worthy. I AM.

I breath deeply and get to the cut through and up the hill...longing for my bench. Today...one of those days...my bench is full of teenagers and I am disappointed. Breathing deeply and continuing to walk towards what is next.

I come to rest at the table under the tree. I pull out my post-its and begin to write. I pull out my beads and meditate on the knowledge that I am worthy. I am resting under the tree, sun shining down on me and am joined by an orange spider who quickly gets flicked away. I think to myself, you have a job to do little spider, go do it. I smile and realize that I have a job to do and go do it.

It's just one of those days! And "those" days go away with transforming walks and being open to the support of the universe.

Namaste.

The Dance

The Dance

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don’t jump up and shout, “Yes, this is what I want! Let’s do it!”
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiraling down into the ache within the ache,
and I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, every day.

Don’t tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
and see who I am in the stories I live.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don’t tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly okay with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall, to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving
those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us shout that soul’s desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs
you want our children’s children to remember.
And I will show you how I struggle not to change the world,
but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging.
Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words,
holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind,
dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale
of the breath that is breathing us all into being,
not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don’t say, “Yes!”
Just take my hand and dance with me.

© Oriah Mountain Dreamer, from the book The Dance, HarperSanFrancisco, 2001

Thankful Thursday

Back to some solid gratitude today...

Today I am grateful for an amazing trip to Funchal, Portugal.

Today I am grateful for people in my life who see me for me and want to be with me!

Today I am grateful for a supportive, caring partner and friend at work.

Today I am grateful for friends who are open, honest and loving.

Today I am grateful for finding balance in my life and being able to work on keeping it.

Today I am grateful for YOU being in my life. Thank you, Love you, Miss you! YOU!!!

Namaste!

....Random Notes....

Not sure when I wrote this but I just found it and it has my mind spinning. You?

**************************************************************************

Anger is easy

Hate is a copout

LOVE

.....transcends....

....is beautiful....


....opens us to the wonders of the universe......

Finally Seeing for Myself...

It's amazing when you discover you purpose in life.

(I know that I do a good job at my work and I am not talking about that part of my life.)

I am talking real, true, all-around purpose for being in this world.

Yeah, big shit! :-)

I am going to make some statements that seem obvious to many that read this but bear with me.

I am really good with people. Seriously! I am very keen on knowing what they need and how to take care of them before they even know. I sense and feel and soak it all up. I am learning about this fantastic gift more and more each day.

People like to me around me. Because I sense, feel and soak it all up. I never understood this but now I do. When I am present and focused I am able to help calm and soothe another person. Some think it is magic....or something special that only I have. That may very well be true but it is a huge gift and I am honored to have it.

I am really good at what I do. Not making a fuss here just finally see this for myself. To have some look me in the heart and tell me how grateful they are for all the hard work I have done just touches me to the point that I have to recognize it. I care. I do. I make things happen. This is my gift.

My purpose in this world is to take care of people. And the fantastic realization is that in order to serve my purpose I have had to shift my view on something. I have got to take care of me FIRST.

This year was dedicated to finding balance in my life. While I struggle with this year's plan on a daily basis...I strive for it. I have to do it for me. When I take care of myself, I am able to be clear and present to serve my purpose in this world.

By taking control of my own care and happiness, I have been able to help others make strides to this for themselves. In this effort, I have found my heart to be healed, fully open and fully present to the love that is all around. It is not about looking for a boyfriend or husband (as my mom would like!) but rather it is about being open and caring and ready for all the amazing gifts that get scattered in my path.

I am honored to have the gifts that make me who I am. I know that there are some in my life who think I should have been able to see these things long ago...or atleast have been telling me such things. They will be happy to know that I am getting it. I am!

And in the midst of all of this getting it has been crazy travel, crazy work and crazy deadlines and crazy never being home...and I have been able to be in control! I am not spinning out of control...I am not a withering wimpy flower...nope, not Nicole.

I am powerful...and understand how to use this power! I am amazing and talented. I am gifted and sensitive. I am in control and present. I am sweet and kind. I am kick ass and tough. I am soft and strong. I am open and available. I am so grateful!

Tell Me This...

When you are given a gift of a person in you life, why won't or don't you do everything you can to maintain your connection? Just because there is distance does not mean it is time to let go.

Let go of the fear. Let go of the expectation. Let go of the over-thinking.

Let go and open your heart...

And just enjoy the gift of the connection.


**********************************************************
More to come on my 2009 Goals and recent trip to Portugal....check back soon!

Reflections from November 2008...

Written November 18, 2008...

Two years. Long and short and so much has happened.

It makes sense that at this time of year I get reflective. It is the time of year when things slow down. The time of year when it just seems darker that you remember. But it is also quite fitting that I replaced one anniversary at this time with one of my own. It is my two year anniversary of moving to Pittsburgh. I know...I can not believe it either but it has been that long!

What can one accomplish in two years and a cross-country, turn-your-life-on-its-head move?

Let's take a look back at what I have discovered....

I still dearly miss my frienmly in LA but I do not miss traffic, smog or higher cost of living.

I have a job that I love more and more each day.

I am close to my family...immediate and extended. They are finally starting to warm up to me being here and are starting to let go of the fear that I will just pack up my car and drive west.

I can not help but wonder "what if" but know that I made the right decision in all "what if" instances!

Taking care of myself at the level I deserve it hard work and quite a struggle for me. I want to take care of everyone else but have to step back to remind myself that I have got to come first!

I am still neurotic, organized, and responsible. The organized part is a bit overstated as I sit here looking at my desk that is always a disaster to the outside observer. ;-) I am happy with these parts of me and embrace them heartily!

I have people who have popped into my life that I would like to stay around but am not sure that is their purpose. I have had people enter my life who will be here for a life time. I would like others to have different roles but that is not for me to dictate.

I have learned to be a bit more relaxed and go with the flow. (I hear the gasping from some...but you know it is true!) I have been able to find a balance between being in complete control and just enjoying the gifts that come along.

I know what I want and do not want in a relationship. I am ready. Trying to date before I was not really ready was not the best plan but it has helped shape my ideas better.

I love dancing. I love cooking and baking. I love being alone with a good book. I love being part of the group.

I still struggle with what I want to do with my life but for now helping others seems to be the right place to be.

Back to Gratitude

I have not been writing much lately...I have been reading and doing a whole lot more but the writing has dropped off again. Need to get back to it, if only for a record of my crazy life.

For today I just need to be grateful.

Today I am grateful for the smiling face that walks by my door daily just to make sure I see a friendly face.

Today I am grateful for friends who love and support me always.

Today I am grateful for Spring and being able to witness the beauty of things coming back to life.

Today I am grateful for work that has purpose.

Today I am grateful for the opportunity to travel next week to Funchal, Madeira PT.
While I am nervous and very neurotic about the trip, I am working very hard to relax into the flow of things.

Today I am grateful for an open and healed heart that is ready for all the possibilities!


Namaste!

Blowing out Light Bulbs...

I awoke this morning feeling out of sorts. I got up when the alarm went off, went into the bathroom, turned on the heater and pulled the curlers off the shelf to plug into the wall. This all without turning on the light because I was going back to bed while things warmed up.

Then I heard something fall into the toilet.

Ugh! Light on...fish out the glasses case and wash it off.
I tried to crawl back into bed but my mind was racing. I am sure it was racing in dream land too. Ack! I got up and went to get some juice as I was too hot to get tea or coffee. I read some mail and then headed back to shower and get ready for work. I hate those days when I put on a number of outfits and nothing seems to work.


I was just out of sorts today. I get my stuff ready, head out the door for the bus and traffic is backed up on my street again. I wait for a few minutes as my bus makes his way down the street.

While this is happening I am struck by feelings of insecurity and fear. I am going to be obsolete at work soon. Why do they need me? There are people who are better and can work faster than me. What if I am not good enough? My regular bus driver pulls up, I step on and smile, saying good morning and he smiles. I take a seat, pull out my ipod and put my sunglasses on and close my eyes trying to release the negative thoughts. Then there are cars coming from all directions just blocking the bus' path and the driver is honking and angry. Wow!

I try and find a song that will take my mind off of my own insecure thoughts and all the negativeness swirling around me. I get to my stop and hop off, heading into Starbucks to get some coffee. I see one of the sweetest people on the planet on my way out the door and am so happy to see her. But she is in a less than happy place and I literally took on her mood. By the time I was at the office I had lost the happy place I had gotten to and was back in a dark place.

She stopped by my office and actually asked me what was wrong because I had been happy. She pointedly asked, "did you take mine?" and I paused for a moment and laughed. Yep, I sure did. So I did this little exercise to release the negative energy and tried to move past it. It was not gone. I was still irritated. I turned off the overhead lights in my office and grabbed a lamp from the common room. I reached to my desk to turn on my desk lamp and literally touched it when the bulb bursts and glass went flying. I had to laugh. My power is incredible. Yikes!

To be continued...

Gratitude Tuesday

There is so much that I could babble on about today but at this moment I feel in my heart that it is important to focus on what I am grateful for today.

Today I am incredibly grateful for viewing an amazing sunrise, albeit in my office, but amazing nonetheless!

Today I am deeply grateful for the deep well of power that I have inside me.

Today I am grateful for an incredible mentor and guide who has helped me through some pretty tough growing pains today.

Today I am grateful for the wonderful work I am blessed to do with some of the most incredible people around.

Today I am grateful for being flooded with love from some surprising places.

Today I am grateful for the peaceful feeling that has perched itself firmly in my heart and my head!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about Nicole!

This has been all over Facebook but I am not really sure that I want to put it on there. So I am doing it here so that you can learn something new or confirm something you thought or get a good laugh! :-) Either way I have put together some 25 things for your enjoyment.

25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about Nicole!

1. My sisters are my best friends and my best friends are my sisters!

2. I once thought I was broken but it turned out that what gets broken (my heart, spirit and soul) grows back stronger and more powerful than ever imagined!

3. Speaking of broken...I have broken my right arm twice. The first time (age 7) I fell off of a swing and did not want my cousin to fall so I braced us both and fractured my shoulder. The second time (age 10) I flew off a bike that hit gravel and broke both bones just above my wrist.

4. I have experienced and survived floods, tornadoes, earthquakes (1994 Northridge is the biggest), fires, Los Angeles Riots (1992). I mark my college years: Riots, fires, floods, earthquake, car crash...Makes for a fun conversation!

5. I never buy the first book or magazine on the shelf, I will always pull from the back. I love books and love to read!

6. I moved to California the morning after I graduated high school. It was exciting and scary all at once. Still one of the best decisions of my life! I had the most incredible send off at the airport with the people who love me!

7. I am incredibly loyal, loving and romantic. Like serious fairy tale romantic! I am also very protective of those I love and care about.

8. I am a work-a-holic and I hide behind my work. (it's just easier right now.)

9. I got engaged and married and bought my first car all in the same year (1998). The only one I still have is the car! Damn fine car! ;-)

10. I will write and publish a novel, play and/or screen play. Trust me I have enough material! Who wouldn't laugh at "Your Mother" or fear the "Alpaca with an Uzi?" Let alone all the other stories I have lived and imagined!

11. I have done mean things that I am not proud of.

12. I believe in karma and universal energy.

13. I can be shy and insecure and quiet and introverted. AND I have spoken in front of hundreds of people and can be heard in an auditorium without a microphone, if needed!

14. I believe in miracles. I believe in the magic of mistletoe. I believe in things that can not be seen. I believe that there is a plan and purpose for my life. I BELIEVE!

15. I want to get married on a beach under the moon light with no shoes and flowers in my hair.

16. I love having my head rub as I fall asleep. I miss having a good night and good morning kiss!

17. I cry at sad songs and sappy movies and sad commercials. I cry easily and I am okay with that.

18. I love pickles and peanut butter. I think it started when I was conceived...I have been told my mom ate them together. I have received peanut butter as a Christmas gift more than once! I had it shipped to me when I was in college because I could not get my favorite brand in Los Angeles. I always have it in the house! I always have pickles in the fridge. I seem to always buy them when I go to the store. I love, love, love pickles! I love, love, love peanut butter and can eat it straight from the jar with a spoon or a finger!

19. I want everyone to like me and think I am smart & good at what I do. Yet I can be competitive and neurotic.

20. I love to dance and sing but don't do either particularly well. I love to dance with a fabulous partner. I have taken ballroom, swing and line dancing. Not to mention in another lifetime (high school, I was a cheerleader). I am looking for a great partner...any takers?

21. I miss my incredible wine collection and being able to buy good and cheap wine at any store I pop into on my way home from work.

22. I don't like dating. But hope to find an amazing partner to walk beside me for the rest of this life.

23. I love my hair. I spent years hating it and trying to get it to be something different. It never took to being straightened. I finally realized it is what it is and I love it. I color it because it has been getting whiter and grayer over the last 20 years. I believe I have hair like my Gramma and when she passed she was all white...so some day that will be me and I will love it just at much.

24. I love to cook and bake. I once won a cake decorating contest when I was a kid. I love the randomness of throwing stuff together in cooking and enjoy the preciseness of baking. If I could I would own a coffee/book/art shop and bake goodies and cook yummy soups all day long.

25. I drove from West Los Angeles to Pittsburgh in 4 days. I did it alone. I did it without getting a speeding ticket. I cried about 90% of the way as I left behind the life I had built to move on to a new one I was about to create. I stopped the first night because the darkness of Arizona scared me. I stopped the next night because I drove 15 hours and was exhausted. I stopped the last night in Effingham, Illinois because of the name. It was funny! I snuck my cat into hotels that did not allow animals. I looked the other way as guilty truck drivers were worried about a girl seeing them eat ice cream for breakfast. I was relieved when I hit my home state of Ohio. Finally, I am starting to really enjoy the life I have in Pittsburgh and have no regrets!

Asking = Happy

My birthday is on Saturday this year. A weekend birthday is something that only comes around occasionally so I was thrilled when I realized it was this year. Then I realized that the Super Bowl was on Sunday...and Pittsburgh is playing in the big game! I could not be happier!

I try way to hard to make everyone else around me happy. I am good at it. It is a wonderful gift. But somewhere along the way I have learned that I need to make me happy too! This year I asked for what I wanted. I want to spend time with my family and friends AND watch the Super Bowl in Pittsburgh.

I asked for what I wanted and the plans are slowly coming together. I could not be happier! The people in my life could not be happier because I am happy! It is incredible how a little courage to ask for what you want gets supported and accepted. Thank you!

Now back to work...and hopefully back to nailing down more plans for Saturday night and Sunday's big game! Let's just hope the weather cooperates!!!

Tuning In...

Tuesday was a day of renewed hope in America. Tuesday was a crazy day for me at work. Work seems to be my current source of chaos. Not my only one as my home life has been enough to drive me mad.

Tuesday was Inauguration Day. I wanted to watch. I could not get on to CNN's web site. Jenna came into my office and said "where can we go?" As I grabbed my wallet, phone and coat I yelled out "Union Grill," and off we went.

We walked in the doors and the place was shockingly not packed. I asked for the table towards the back near the television. The guy hesitated as I walked back. We pulled our chairs side by side and watched as another piece of history unfolded in our lives.

The emotions I felt on Tuesday were beyond unexpected. The experience I had during the speech and the other events was unimaginable.

As we sat with tears in our eyes sharing a piece of humanity with others around us, a couple walked into the seating area for lunch. They were talking about how great it was to catch up finally and how he never comes to this street because it is always so packed. Then he starts to tell her that he just started taking some weight loss pill because while he is thin he is beginning to get a muffin top. Heaven forbid he should look poorly due to excess weight. After all fat people are ugly and they make less money.

As he was sitting down he rolled his eyes and muttered an indistinguishable comment under his breath about what was on tv. I was at my boiling point as he then skipped to his drunken bar crawl the night before. All the while perusing the menu and opting to get a reuben and macaroni & cheese. His conversation was loud and beyond obnoxious.

All I kept thinking was how oblivious you are to history going on around you.

Then as I reached for the ketchup bottle it exploded. I have had energy surges before but this one was different. I was aware of it. I paused. I calmed down some and my thoughts went in a completely new direction.

If I lived 50 lifetimes I would always ask to come back in the current body I have even if it carries too much weight for traditional beauty standards. I would rather be ugly in the next 50 lifetimes with the heart and soul I have now then for one moment walk this earth as someone else. I would rather be happy and poor for 50 lifetimes than basking in empty riches.

All I wanted to do was get away from this beautiful looking man on the outside because his inside was black. And for that I felt bad.

But for me I felt honored and excited.

I got to watch another piece of history play out in my life time. I got to do it with an amazing woman next to me. I got to experience what it means to truly be happy in your own skin.

I felt the shift happen. Things are changing all around me. Things are changing inside me. Being truly happy in my own skin is so much more than anything I could have ever imagined happening through this series of events. And for it I am grateful!

Uncharted Waters

Many years ago I lost myself. I am not sure that I fully understand how it happened.

Hmm...Fuck...that is a lie...Let's try a bit of painful truth here...just a bit...

Many years ago I lost myself and I did it because I started letting go of little pieces of me until I was someone I did not recognize. I let little pieces go because I wanted to fit in when I got to Los Angeles, in fact I was encouraged to do so by well meaning family. I let little pieces go because I wanted to be part of the "in" crowd of older kids instead of a kicked around kid starting out. I let little pieces go because he said he would love me forever. I let little pieces go because he gave me a ring in the rain with words promising to be with me through whatever life threw at us.

Little pieces gave way to bigger pieces until one day I woke up after finding a credit card statement with suspicious charges that I dared to question. Who was I to question him? Who was I to rock the boat in such a manner? I was LUCKY to have him. I was LUCKY to be with someone. I was hideous and fat and who would want to be with me. I let one more piece of me slip away as I unpacked my bags and settled in as he handed me chocolates that he had picked up to make it all better.

I am certain that soon but at another time I will get around to exploring the picking up of the pieces of me...but fast forward to today...

Today I was flushed with indescribable feelings after going on a brisk walk with my new partner in crime**. As I looked at myself in the restroom mirror I acknowledged just how amazingly alive and beautiful the pink cheeks that blazed on my face really were. My hair was softly falling around my face and it dawned on me that I was never going to let someone into my life who I would slowly let diminish me to the point that I did not recognize myself or care to recognize myself in the mirror. I am important. I am special. I am feeling out of sorts...

As of this week, I am in completely uncharted waters!!! I have started putting myself at the top of my to do list. I have started to seriously trust that if I take care of myself that all the rest will be that much better when I take care of it. I went for a walk in freezing weather in the middle of the day with my partner in crime and she thanked me for going with her!

After we had wrapped up our meeting this afternoon I paused at the door to thank her for asking me to go on a walk. As she smiled at me I explained that I am working on letting go of past insecurities and support her approach to a more active work place. I appreciate her support and gentleness as we work through getting to know one another, getting to know the lay of the land at work and getting to real balance in life, at work and home!

I am learning, albeit slowly, what is like to get what you ask for and to allow myself to appreciate it and accept it and be hugely grateful for all of it.

I deserve it! I welcome it! I am grateful for it!!!

2009 is going to be MY year!



(**just a little side note for anyone reading this who does not know who my new "partner in crime" is...she is my new boss...she is also the woman i wrote about in my post on November 12, 2008.)

Balancing 2009

I have been thinking about what I want out of this year. I did a decent job last year with accomplishing so many of my goals and intentions. I want to be sure to start my list at the start of the year and get working on it now too!

Without furthering blathering here are my goals and intentions for 2009...

1a. Get my passport...yeah, yeah get over it...I have never had a reason to have one and now I have lots of reasons...better get on this one asap!

1b. Move my body regularly...important enough to be the second part of the first this to do and there is sooooo much that I want to do...walk, hike, bike, yoga, swim...just be alive and active!!! (will come in handy if i want to hike with julie, letterbox with heidi or explore an island)

2. Write more...blog, journal, poetry, notes on napkins, handwritten love letters just because...

3. Meditate...helps me stay grounded, helps me find my center, helps me clarify my intentions in life, needed for finding my balance...

4. Laugh Alot...won't be too hard with Cameron around! Who thought my sister could have a baby that is even funnier than her!!

5. Be open to the possibility.

6. Dance...some nice folks got me to do it in the fall and I don't want to stop! It makes me laugh and it moves my body and it is fun! So it covers a few intentions at once!!!

7. Volunteer...must do it one way or another!

8. Wear high heels...it only took one pair to get me hooked and I just can't stop...I think I might have to go to Maryland to steal Barbie's shoes she got for Christmas since I can't find my own! Keep your doors locked sissy!

9. Love fully without fear...give it to my family, my friends, and most importantly ME!!!

10. Travel to far off places...small hints... near the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans...stay tuned.


So I think I will stop here as I get carried away with lists and I never do anything small. But I wish with meeting these intentions that I will be happier, healthier and smaller at the end of 2009!


Feel free to leave me a note telling me what your plans, goals, wishes for 2009 are! :-)