Drawing to a Close...

Summer is drawing to a close. For the first time in many years I am actually sad about this. Most who know me well know that I long for Fall and start of football season. Don't get me wrong I am looking forward to those things but something has changed in me. Changed for the better I suspect.

Yesterday sitting with friends enjoying coffee, brunch and conversation we mulled over what a "successful" summer looked like. And lamented to one another how this was NOT the summer any of us had pictured for ourselves. Yet, as the conversation continued we unearthed the truth that in the end it was a success for a variety of other reasons. It was not a huge weight loss for me but it was a huge loss of weight from the past. It was the completion of a half marathon and successful fund-raising effort for my one friend. It was an amazing vacation spent with family and an even more amazing retreat for another friend. None of this can be measured on a scale. None of this can even begin to measure to the pounds we have lost and will lose.

The successes are deep within us and should not be diminished or ignored. The forward progress that I have made this summer has been giant. I feel like a completely different person having stepped outside of some old comfort zones. I feel like a person who has gotten to the other side after a painful divorce and no longer feels like a failure. I put myself out there and was vulnerable to the point of humiliation and it was exciting and just what I needed. Even though it did not work out in any way it was exactly what I needed to be able to firmly say I am moving forward. I feel it deep in my soul.

So as the summer of 2008 is about to rapidly wind down into the crispness of fall, I can not help but wonder what is next. I feel it in the air. Change has happened. Progress has happened. I am stronger, happier and continue to work on finding my balance for a whole life. I am getting there...in my own time...and I am happy with that. I am sad to see summer go but happy to have had the amazing experiences that were bestowed upon my path. For all those blessings I am grateful beyond words.

When the Shoe Fits...

I have not posted in a while because I have been consumed with work. It is the end of the year for one program and the start of the year for a new program. But more on that later! For now I have been struggling and I sure it is because I have taken my simple focus from where it needs to be.

Today I am exhausted. Exhausted from working hard. Exhausted from saying good bye. Exhausted. But I wanted to post...and then I found this!

When the Shoe Fits is by Chuang Tzu....it is a piece from the talks on Chuang Tzu's stories. And it seems quite fitting right now for me. And maybe for someone else. :-)

More to come from me soon...for now enjoy the following.

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CHU’I THE DRAFTSMAN COULD DRAW MORE PERFECT CIRCLES FREEHAND THAN WITH A COMPASS.


HIS FINGERS BROUGHT FORTH SPONTANEOUS FORMS FROM NOWHERE. HIS MIND WAS MEANWHILE FREE AND WITHOUT CONCERN WITH WHAT HE WAS DOING.


NO APPLICATION WAS NEEDED, HIS MIND WAS PERFECTLY SIMPLE AND KNEW NO
OBSTACLE.


SO, WHEN THE SHOE FITS, THE FOOT IS FORGOTTEN, WHEN THE BELT FITS, THE BELLY IS FORGOTTEN, WHEN THE HEART IS RIGHT, ’FOR’ AND ’AGAINST’ ARE FORGOTTEN.


NO DRIVES, NO COMPULSIONS, NO NEEDS, NO ATTRACTIONS: THEN YOUR AFFAIRS ARE UNDER CONTROL. YOU ARE A FREE MAN.


EASY IS RIGHT. BEGIN RIGHT AND YOU ARE EASY. CONTINUE EASY AND YOU ARE RIGHT. THE RIGHT WAY TO GO EASY IS TO FORGET THE RIGHT WAY AND FORGET THAT THE GOING IS EASY.