Reflections from November 2008...

Written November 18, 2008...

Two years. Long and short and so much has happened.

It makes sense that at this time of year I get reflective. It is the time of year when things slow down. The time of year when it just seems darker that you remember. But it is also quite fitting that I replaced one anniversary at this time with one of my own. It is my two year anniversary of moving to Pittsburgh. I know...I can not believe it either but it has been that long!

What can one accomplish in two years and a cross-country, turn-your-life-on-its-head move?

Let's take a look back at what I have discovered....

I still dearly miss my frienmly in LA but I do not miss traffic, smog or higher cost of living.

I have a job that I love more and more each day.

I am close to my family...immediate and extended. They are finally starting to warm up to me being here and are starting to let go of the fear that I will just pack up my car and drive west.

I can not help but wonder "what if" but know that I made the right decision in all "what if" instances!

Taking care of myself at the level I deserve it hard work and quite a struggle for me. I want to take care of everyone else but have to step back to remind myself that I have got to come first!

I am still neurotic, organized, and responsible. The organized part is a bit overstated as I sit here looking at my desk that is always a disaster to the outside observer. ;-) I am happy with these parts of me and embrace them heartily!

I have people who have popped into my life that I would like to stay around but am not sure that is their purpose. I have had people enter my life who will be here for a life time. I would like others to have different roles but that is not for me to dictate.

I have learned to be a bit more relaxed and go with the flow. (I hear the gasping from some...but you know it is true!) I have been able to find a balance between being in complete control and just enjoying the gifts that come along.

I know what I want and do not want in a relationship. I am ready. Trying to date before I was not really ready was not the best plan but it has helped shape my ideas better.

I love dancing. I love cooking and baking. I love being alone with a good book. I love being part of the group.

I still struggle with what I want to do with my life but for now helping others seems to be the right place to be.