60 Things You Possibly Didn't Know About Me

Yeah, I am avoiding work...so sue me!!!

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60 Things You Possibly Didn't Know About Me

1. What is in the back of your car?
old rotors, some other car parts that I have no idea what to do with. oh, and a california license plate.

2. When was the last time you threw up?
a few weeks ago when i was sick. ugh.

3. What color is your toothbrush?
white and blue.

4. Name one person that made you smile today?
barbie

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
on the bus with adam on the way into carnegie mellon

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
working and drinking coffee that is not doing its job! :-(

8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
no but i have had a stripper come to where i was.

9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
good morning

10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
chubby hubby by ben & jerry's
anything with peanut butter, chocolate, caramel and pretzels really!

11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
latte...it is morning after all! ;-)

12. What are you wearing right now?
jeans, brown shirt, tennis shoes, my hair is in a pony tail and i have
no make up on. yeah it is one of those days. ;-)

13. What was the last thing you ate?
scone

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
nope

15. When was the last time you ran?
playing with marco during my visit to california

16. The last sporting event you watched?
basketball

18. Who is the last person you sent a text message to?
barbie this morning

19. Ever go camping?
yeah but it has been a while

20. Do you like rollercoaster?
i used to love them but not so much now.

21. What were you doing last night?
met daniel for dinner and margaritas

22. Do you have a tan?
hell no

23. Look to your right, what do you see?
usc mouse pad, phone, coffee cup, picture frame, an apple

24. Do you drink your soda with a straw?
depends on where i am

25. What did your last text message say?
"baltimorge"

26. Are you someone's best friend?
sure am

27. What are you doing tomorrow?
working and then watching thursday night tv!!!!!
i also can guarantee that i will be talking to heidi
about survivor. :-)
grey's is back tonight!!!! lost is back tonight!!!!!

28. Where is your mom?
at work and hopefully finding someone else to bug about their life!
get off mine!

29. Look to your left, what do you see?
flowers, flowers, keys, paper on my desk

31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
beaches and kangaroos

33. What is your birthstone?
red garnet

34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
depends on who i am with and what we are doing

35. What is your favorite number?
9

36. Do you have a dog?
no but i can visit dogs when i want.

37. Last person you talked to on the phone?
heidi

38. Have you met anyone famous?
sure have

39. Any plans today?
work, help out a student on a research project, i need to buy coffee, take a walk at lunch

40. How many states have you lived in?
three

41. Ever go to college?
oh yeah to the best one! USC baby!!!!

42. What do you want to be when you grow up ?
a writer

44. Last song listened to?
I am listening to High by James Blunt right now before that it was Make this Go on Forever by Snow Patrol
Yes, my music tastes go beyond country! Sheesh!

47. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
tennis shoes

49. Are you jealous of anyone?
nope

50. Is anyone jealous of you?
i hope not

51. Do you love anyone?
i love lots of people

52. Do any of your friends have children?
yeah

53. Do you eat healthy?
i try

54. What do you usually do during the day?
work

55. Do you hate anyone right now?
nope

56. Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
yep

59. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
oh yeah...we went in college. what a blast!

60. How did you get one of your scars?
scar on my pinky finger i got washing a glass and it broke. it was the first time i ever got stitches.

Family Time

Here are some pictures from last week when Barbie flew in for a visit.

Amber and I with the not so focused Cameron. Still a cute boy though!!!

It is a rare time when we are all together and able to get a picture!
Me, Am, Barbie with Cameron.

Mom was not really paying attention to the camera!

Mom, Amber, Barbie and Cameron
I seriously wonder what was over there that he kept looking at...
I am guessing it was the dog.

Must Be Doing Something Right...

I have been sick for the last week or so. I am talking about the exhausting bug that seems to be biting everyone around here. It has sucked because it was quiet at work and I had hoped to get soooo much done. But I have been sick. Ack!!!

This morning my alarm went off and I was annoyed that it was going off. I got up, got dressed and headed out the door to Weight Watchers. I was not thrilled about the approach to the scale as I knew that it was going to be up because when I am sick I eat. I know we all eat but I eat things that are comforting to me. I stepped on the scale and it was over and Barb handed me my book back. I looked on the spot and gasped out loud..."I stayed the same?!?!?" Barb told me to get out of her sight that she had just told me that and that I needed to just relax. I went into the meeting room and chatted with my friend Cath.

We talked about the inner battles that we all fight. We talked about the fact that the inside has to be right before the outside will follow. Then I realized that I must be doing something right because even with sickness I was able to take care of myself and NOT gain weight! This is not an accident. This is because I have made these little changes over the last (almost) year and many of the healthy ones have stuck. And with those in place I was able to not damage any of the progress I have made. For this I am grateful!

Taking care of myself is hard. I would rather take care of everyone else around me. I am working on it. I have been working on it. I am getting better at it. I am worth it. I am valuable. I must take care of myself so I can have the honor and pleasure of taking care of those around me. Must be doing something right....for that I am grateful!

I am also grateful that due to being sick that I was able to tackle some tasks at work that I have been putting off for much too long. So now when I get to my office on Monday morning my desk will be clean and my computer is now organized and does not have crap all over the desktop any longer. It is a huge accomplishment and for that I am grateful!

My mind feels better and my body is slowly getting there! Must be doing something right!!

Close Your Eyes...

take a deep breath

who, what, when, where



makes you happy?????

It is quite simple and something to definitely mediate upon as it gets to the roots of one's person bliss. I was reminded about a very blissful, joyful and peaceful time recently. It made me smile from the inside out to think about that time. I could feel the environment around me, I could see the people there with me and I still felt the consuming sense of joy of that time.

So I started to think about other times, other places, other people, other items. It was like unlocking a secret treasure trove all of my own making. It is quite cathartic and probably very healthy. But what really got me going was the thought that we all can work to re-create these times, events, etc.

The other night I was chatting online with an old friend who asked if I remembered the week we spent reading before Troy Camp. Immediately I smiled and was filled with a sense of that time. Later that night I was able to close my eyes and see the apartments, the crappy couches we had, the boxes packed awaiting movement to storage, the smell of the warm summer California air as the breeze blew through the open door. We read all day and all night and shared books, discussed them, swapped them and just relished in our youthful freedom.

Oh, to have that again...but then I stop to think- Nah, I really like where I am right now. But the joyfulness of that memory is something that no one can ever take away from me or my friends. There are many other memories that have started to pop up and make me smile.

Just for today...take a moment and stop and remember a time when you smiled from your insides out and just see if you don't smile today in this moment.

Finding Balance

When I think of balance I think of all these pieces of my life that should be balanced. Today I am realizing (or maybe I have always known) that all these pieces are connected and the balance is a fine art that one must constantly work at. The thing is that not only are all the pieces of my life connected but they are connected to the universe around me. All this is daunting and can lead to unbalance all over the place.

But somewhere along the way for this "all-or-nothing" girl, I have come to see that little actions in attempt to find my balance do make a difference in the larger universe. So I have been doing my little part for a while now and I have to say it is nice to finally see things somewhat balanced.

I participated in Earth Hour a couple Saturday's ago. It was a nice, peaceful way to power down and find other ways to spend an evening...well, actually an hour...but it sure felt long! I spent some time with candles lit and opted for meditation and prayer. This lasted for about 15 minutes. I am not good at it but it is enough. Then I futzed around online. I am not sure that this was part of the plan for the event but I was using my battery so I thought it might be okay. All I know is that there were no lights or appliances on and I was not ready to go to bed. Eventually, the hour went by and then I was tired and ready to go to bed. I was part of something bigger than me and for the betterment of the world. Just another part of finding balance in my life.

Speaking of balance and being in tune with one's own body...

A week ago I woke up very early and felt lousy. I knew with the sore throat and achy body that it was time to send out an email that I was staying home today and turn off the alarm clock and crawl back into bed. All of which I did! When I awoke later that day I felt better but still not good. I actually ended up with the worst headache the following day and stayed home another day. Why? I am trying to take better care of myself and this was just the first step.

I am tired. I mean really tired. Exhaustion consumes me and I have come to realize that all I seem to do is worry about everyone else and always seem to put me last. *sigh* I know this is a problem and I know that I need to deal with this to deal with my addiction. (Relax folks...I am a food addict...which honestly is worse than any other because you can't stop eating!)

I eat when I am happy. I eat when I am sad. I eat when I am mad. I eat when I am hungry. I eat when I am bored. I eat to stuff the pain. I am happy to report that after years in therapy my binging has lessened. This happened because of my hard work and dedication to me. No one was able to do it for me or fix it for me. But it also goes back to the title of this blog...finding balance.

I need to work on finding balance in all parts of my life and then all the other stuff will either fall away or fall into place. I know this to be true. I have been slowly and steadily losing weight. It may not be obvious to anyone else but me but it is happening. I am doing this for no one else but me and it is working this time because I am working at finding the balance and the mind-body connection to make it stick. I am not obsessed about it. I am not afraid of it. I am just being present on a regular basis and making this work one baby step at a time.

I have taken steps to work through past events that have been blocks for me. Even if nothing comes from my actions I know in my heart that I have put the truth out there and that can never be a bad thing. I am becoming more and more the person I dreamed of being when I was young and innocent. That makes me happy beyond all belief.

Enough rambling from me for today! :-)

A parting thought to leave you with...

If the only prayer you said in your life was "thank you," that would suffice. --Meister Eckhart

Stable Insanity

I am a realist with both feet safely on the ground and I love stability! I am also convinced that I am insane. (for those that know me...you know this to be funny but kinda true!) With that said I still want the perfect man to come along and sweep me off my feet like some unrealistic fairy tale. Then the realist part of me speaks up rather loudly and says "Keep dreamin' girl! And by the way YOU ARE INSANE!!!"

Today I realized some more that I am okay waiting for a man who is at least close to my perfect man and will not be settling for anything less. If that means no sex...so be it. If that means being alone...so what! If that means having moments of loneliness consume me...that's life.

I am me and I am not going to apologize to anyone for being who I am. Love me as I am or fuck off. I am neurotic about certain things. I am a pain in the ass about other things. I am a perfectionist about some things. I am weird AND quirky. I am outgoing and can talk to hundreds of people at a time and not be nervous. BUT I can be shy and take a while to warm up. I will eat peanut butter straight out of the jar if the mood strikes me. I love a bubble bath and a good glass of wine on a Saturday night over a big fancy night out. I am loyal, considerate, faithful, honest, loving and compassionate. I am down to earth but dream big. I know what I want in a partner and I will have it in my life when I make that kind of leap of faith again. I will have someone who knows that I love sappy girl movies and does not make fun of me for watching them and crying. I will have someone who knows how I take my coffee or what drink to order me at the bar. I will have someone who will make me breakfast in bed. I will have someone who will get swept up in the moment and dance with me wherever we may be. I believe this with every ounce of my soul and heart!

I was talking with Heidi tonight and she pointed out that there are times in a relationship when one is not happy. Fortunately for me I know this first hand having been married. I know that there are times when you want to be alone and times when you are less than thrilled with your spouse. Well, since I know all that I have decided to keep both eyes open and know that one day I will find my partner. I am not in a hurry. I am not desperate in any way. I will just keep living my life and one way or another it will fall into place. I will get my romantic movie ending with my guy. The only difference these days is that I truly know what I am looking for in that man and know that in my future that man and I will be together dancing as the waves crash on the moonlit beach laughing as we talk about the silliness of our day.

Until then I will continue to live in my stable insanity otherwise known as my life.

coffee. Coffee? COFFEE!!!

While I was in LA I did not have coffee. I normally have coffee everyday. I was on vacation there so I thought why bother...so I opted for tea in the mornings. When I got back to Pittsburgh I went back to my coffee ways and did not give it a thought.

THEN....

I was thinking about calmness and being centered. I felt that in LA and I was hoping it was not just because I was on vacation. I thought about what was "different" while there. I discovered a couple areas where I had done things differently while on vacation. I thought why not do them in my daily life and not just on vacation. The big one was not having coffee on a daily basis and not relying on it to wake me up.

I went and bought a tea kettle on a Saturday morning. I am trying to find balance and clarity in my daily life so that I can consistently get back on track with losing weight. Something is still off and I am willing to try just about anything. SO I decided to drop coffee. This was fine up until yesterday.

I went off coffee and was surprised to not have any ill effects. It was going great! This week is a hellish crazy week at work and I have not been sleeping well. Monday night was the worst for me. I was up late writing. Then I went to bed thinking that I would just float off to dream land and all would be well. I tossed and turned and when I did doze off it was fitful dreams that invaded my head. Ugh! Yesterday I was dragging. At one point in the afternoon a student stopped by and said "You look under-caffeinated" and I thought I AM!!! So I walked down to the corner and got a venti skinny caramel latte for lunch. It was like heaven in a cup! I got through my day and headed home. I went to bed early last night and slept well. Although I did have a very vivid dream right before I woke up about getting married.

I was still dragging today after getting a good night's sleep and opted for tea. Two giant cups later I knew I was in need of COFFEE. So I grabbed my office keys and headed down to Starbucks. I order my drink and wait. They made it wrong, so I waited some more. But the funny thing is that while I was waiting one of the guys working there brought me a coupon for a free drink next time. I thanked him and got my drink from the bar and headed back to my office.

I sit here thinking now that if that is not a sign I don't know what is!

COFFEE!!!! COFFEE!!!! COFFEE!!!!

Actually, I think the lesson here is again everything in moderation. I can have coffee and I can have tea and I can be calm and centered. I will find the right balance for me and my life. Someday!

For today I feel I am heading in the right direction.

They Love Me and I Love Them!!

Yesterday at work I was cleaning out my office and found an open 12 pack of coke. I had a shipment of drinks being delivered today for Open House and wanted to make room. So I placed the cokes in the common area and wrote a quick note...

A poster by Nicole endorsing drinking

It was pointed out to me today that my students found this to be very funny.

Here is the email that went around with the picture:

At our next parties, we should have this poster that says "Please drink =)" and is genuinely written and signed by our very own Nicole. Because that was actually at the lab today.

Well, it was next to a bunch of cokes truth be told, but I don't think this makes the poster any less awesome. ;)

The original is still at the lab on the cart if someone wants to grab and hold on to it...

---

The irony is that at the end of the summer I plan two back-to-back parties, one for graduating students and one for incoming students. Last year there was lots and lots and lots of beer. This endeared me to some beyond my imagination! So I guess in some way I do endorse drinking but not today there is too much work to be done!

I am the guardian of them according to one faculty member and I am the keeper of the candy and the maker of cookies and the peace maker and the the endorser of drinking! Who knew my job was sooo much fun?

Los Angeles Part 3...More Walking...

Heidi and I left the boys and headed to Santa Monica to look for a letterbox. I am not a letterboxer but Heidi is and it was a great chance for us to just spend some time together. First, we hit 3rd Street Promendade for some pizza and then we went for a walk...and then some more walking...since when do people walk so much in LA? Good thing I had been getting more walking in after I moved to Pittsburgh! I really was not complaining as it was a beautiful, albeit cool, afternoon. See how pretty! We did find the location of Heidi's letterbox but the place was closed on Sundays! So we just enjoyed the views!!

Santa Monica from Ocean Avenue.

Santa Monica Beach



Santa Monica Pier

It was so nice to be back and be able to walk around in winter wearing capri pants and sandals. Although, I will admit that I am still a California girl with California blood and the cool temps were quite chilly and I really lamented the fact that I had worn my sandals! But it was a gorgeous day and I got to spend it with my best friend. It was great to just do things like we would normally have done.

My poor winter feet which had been properly pedicured upon arrival were quiet blistered by the end of the afternoon! But it was all worth it to be with Heidi and to be in the SoCal sun! We headed back home and I had to get ready for dinner at Julie's. I had some wonderful help with my hair...

Marco was very fascinated by hot rollers in my hair.
So he decided he was going to help make me beautiful for my dinner.

It was time to take them out according to Mr. Marco...he is the boss!

My work is done with her and now I can play with the curlers!

After my styling session with the little man it was time to head down to Long Beach. I was very much looking forward to this familiar drive and it was a gorgeous time of day...just about sunset! I was going to enjoy the culinary stylings of Ms. Julie!!! And a surprise from Tam! I was so excited! I headed down the 405 to the 110 and when I got to the bridges one of them (I don't know which one) was just so pretty with its blue lights. My driving and picture taking does no do it justice but pretty none the less!

I believe this to be the Vincent Thomas bridge but I know it as one that gets me to Julie's!

Gorgeous sunset sky driving through Belmont Shore almost to Julie's!

I arrive at Julie's and literally have to bang on the door to get their attention! They were in the cave, otherwise known as the kitchen! But alas I was allowed to enter and greeted warmly (and finally!) by Tam. Tam is awesome! And that is not just because he brought special wine for me! He is kind, friendly, funny, sweet, thoughtful and way cute! I am so glad he came into Julie's life around the time I departed SoCal.

We enjoyed an amazing brunello brought from Tuscany with some cheese and bread. Then it was time for Julie to get her cooking groove on and I have to admit I was blown away! I knew she could cook but this was gourmet! We had a seared ahi steak with avacado over greens with a vinagrette that was so flavorful and perfect. We talked and ate and had an incredibly relaxing evening. Tam even showed us pictures from his recent trip to Italy. (Clearly I did a poor job of documenting my trip this time but next time!)

The evening came to end too quickly as we said so long and I headed home. It was so wonderful to just relax and know that I am leaving Julie is good hands! And a recent note is that I get to see Julie again in two weeks when she is in Pittsburgh for a client presentation!! I will be sure to get some picture of us then! :-)

I get home and settle in for a good nights sleep as I have another day planned and will need my rest! Stay tuned for traveling back in time to my glory days at USC and adventures in babysitting!

Ciao for now!

Los Angeles Part 2...Walking in LA

Saturday was a jammed packed day and I was excited to get to see so many people. I was even going to drive once again in Los Angeles. This did not worry me but it was a bit overwhelming as when I moved I specifically chose a location where I would not need to drive to work. I drive very rarely in fact in Pittsburgh. It is quite nice to not be in that race any longer. But back to my day...

Saturday, March 1st was in typical SoCal fashion a gray and overcast and very cool day, with little hope of it ever burning off. It was quite funny that so many people kept apologizing to me that the weather was not better. I just laughed as I had left a blizzard! This was not bad! I get on the road after picking up dessert for the BBQ and I head north on the all too familiar 405 and crawl up the Sepulveda Pass. Ah, this I do not miss!!

I get to Simi Valley quite fast as traffic is not bad at this time. I pull in and a car pulls in next to me and I realize that it is Wendy. Who has jumped out and is waiting to greet me warmly. We hug, grab our stuff and head to the Gordon's home. Bill and Claudia bought a home in Simi Valley last summer and it was just beautiful. It was a warm and welcoming home filled with my friends! :-) Bill and Claudia were feverishly working on the BBQ fixins while Wendy and I chatted. Marissa and Sal arrived not too long after we had arrived and the party was in full swing. We had yummy salsa made special by Mari. She was concerned that there was too much garlic and spice. We all laughed as it was perfect! Yummy fresh salsa!!!

We talked and talked and then Nuria was awake. The newest member of the Gordon-Suhr family joined us. She is just beautiful. It was great to finally get to meet her as she was born around the time I was moving. She is going to be a beauty like her mom and have a love of books like both her parents.


We spent a very lovely afternoon stuffing our faces with yummy BBQ, chinese chicken salad, pasta salad, garlic bread, fresh salsa and onion dip. It was all our favorites with some of my most favorite people from my time at UCLA. The funny thing is that we were so busy talking and enjoying the food that the only picture I took was of Nuria. But what a wonderful time. Thanks to Bill and Claudia for opening their home to me. Thanks to Wendy, Marissa and Sal for making the trek to Simi just to hang out with me!!

Late in the afternoon I headed back to the Westside and sat in lovely LA traffic. Traffic like this on a Saturday afternoon is something that I just will never miss! But I needed to get back and get ready for my evening. I was going to see some friends with whom I had not seen in almost 11 years.


I arrive safely at Heidi's, get ready, call Tony and let him know that I am ready to be picked up for our night out. Tony, Gene, and Lisa arrive at Heidi's and it is like no time had passed since we had seen each other. It was great to meet Gene's wife for the first time, too! Thank god their was another girl there otherwise I am afraid of the drinking that would have taken place!

We get to Tony's place and he shows me around. Then we are going to head out for dinner and drinks. This is where the walking in LA part comes into play. No one walks in LA but we decide (and Tony swore) to go some place close. So we head out to McCormick & Schmick for drinks. We walk, and walk...walk...and laugh...where the hell are we going Tony? Sheesh?!?! We finally get to the restaraunt and it is packed but we opt to go across the street to PF Changs for dinner and drinks. We find ourselves at the bar with drinks and having a grand old time! Lisa and I had a nice discussion on what constitutes around the corner in Tony's mind vrs. a normal person. And then we wondered how many people felt bad for the poor people walking down the street whose car broke down. Too funny!

After dinner we walked back to Tony's place as he had promised to make us this drink from Peru. Yeah, I had a taste and then moved on to some wine. I am not sure what was in the drink but there was an egg and that was just too much for me. But it was so great to hang out and laugh and be with good friends again! It was like no time had passed and that was such a relief for me. (there is more of a story here but that will have to be for another blog or a book!)

At some point, we all headed off to bed. The next morning was bright and sunny and since there are no curtains in the Pham house it was an easy way to wake up! *note to Tony: GET some curtains!! Seriously!!!* We were all awake and decided to head out to get some breakfast at this place near the airport called the Proud Bird. It was a spectacular place to have food and champagne and watch the planes land. We even walked around outside afterwards checking out the replica planes.

Outside in the plane area at the Proud Bird.

Gene and Lisa

Gene only had to take three pictures of Tony and I before I realized that I needed to hold his hand to keep him from making hand gestures! Some boys will never grow up! ;-)

Gene, Lisa and Tony dropped me off at Heidi's but Tony and I had plans to get together Monday at USC. (more on that later!) Upon arrival at Heidi's I quickly showered and then we had some fun with Marco as he had elephant ears! About 10 seconds later he had them torn to pieces. :-(

More to come on the afternoon and evening....stay tuned for Part 3...More Walking in LA!