Finding Balance

When I think of balance I think of all these pieces of my life that should be balanced. Today I am realizing (or maybe I have always known) that all these pieces are connected and the balance is a fine art that one must constantly work at. The thing is that not only are all the pieces of my life connected but they are connected to the universe around me. All this is daunting and can lead to unbalance all over the place.

But somewhere along the way for this "all-or-nothing" girl, I have come to see that little actions in attempt to find my balance do make a difference in the larger universe. So I have been doing my little part for a while now and I have to say it is nice to finally see things somewhat balanced.

I participated in Earth Hour a couple Saturday's ago. It was a nice, peaceful way to power down and find other ways to spend an evening...well, actually an hour...but it sure felt long! I spent some time with candles lit and opted for meditation and prayer. This lasted for about 15 minutes. I am not good at it but it is enough. Then I futzed around online. I am not sure that this was part of the plan for the event but I was using my battery so I thought it might be okay. All I know is that there were no lights or appliances on and I was not ready to go to bed. Eventually, the hour went by and then I was tired and ready to go to bed. I was part of something bigger than me and for the betterment of the world. Just another part of finding balance in my life.

Speaking of balance and being in tune with one's own body...

A week ago I woke up very early and felt lousy. I knew with the sore throat and achy body that it was time to send out an email that I was staying home today and turn off the alarm clock and crawl back into bed. All of which I did! When I awoke later that day I felt better but still not good. I actually ended up with the worst headache the following day and stayed home another day. Why? I am trying to take better care of myself and this was just the first step.

I am tired. I mean really tired. Exhaustion consumes me and I have come to realize that all I seem to do is worry about everyone else and always seem to put me last. *sigh* I know this is a problem and I know that I need to deal with this to deal with my addiction. (Relax folks...I am a food addict...which honestly is worse than any other because you can't stop eating!)

I eat when I am happy. I eat when I am sad. I eat when I am mad. I eat when I am hungry. I eat when I am bored. I eat to stuff the pain. I am happy to report that after years in therapy my binging has lessened. This happened because of my hard work and dedication to me. No one was able to do it for me or fix it for me. But it also goes back to the title of this blog...finding balance.

I need to work on finding balance in all parts of my life and then all the other stuff will either fall away or fall into place. I know this to be true. I have been slowly and steadily losing weight. It may not be obvious to anyone else but me but it is happening. I am doing this for no one else but me and it is working this time because I am working at finding the balance and the mind-body connection to make it stick. I am not obsessed about it. I am not afraid of it. I am just being present on a regular basis and making this work one baby step at a time.

I have taken steps to work through past events that have been blocks for me. Even if nothing comes from my actions I know in my heart that I have put the truth out there and that can never be a bad thing. I am becoming more and more the person I dreamed of being when I was young and innocent. That makes me happy beyond all belief.

Enough rambling from me for today! :-)

A parting thought to leave you with...

If the only prayer you said in your life was "thank you," that would suffice. --Meister Eckhart