Good Intentions

My intentions for the day were to take lots of nyquil, sleep and knock this cough out of my body and make my throat feel normal again. After sleeping in, a hot bath, lots of tea and nyquil I thought I would work on some writing. But I needed to find something...

I did not find what I was looking for but what I did find was quite timely! I found a journal from the time I was getting divorced. It was not a consistent writing time for me but that seems to make sense looking back now. However, there are some very insightful entries but the best one was one that I believe I needed to see NOW.

From a journal entry:

"Here's a reason for using these questions-- by doing so you acknowledge that it isn't the answers that matter, but the process of asking. You stop focusing on when ______ happens, then you will _____. You start saying, "Now is now, I am okay, and I can start living in the flow now, where everything is valuable."

"Today's Intention: To notice when I focus on the end result, the goal, rather than the unfolding path."

Yet another gentle reminder from the universe! Be present. Be aware. Breathe! Just breathe and be where you are. I am guessing that I will keep getting these "reminders" (universal smack upside the head) until I relax into my flow and accept the present for the present it is and just be.

*sigh*

Now is now.

I am okay.

I AM OKAY!

I am.

A Very Quick Recap of Events

I thought I would take a moment to recap and catch some of you up on the happenings in my life.

Where to begin...I was born one winter day in January...No! that seems a bit too far back! :-) Okay, seriously though...quick recap time...

Summer 2005: Girls State in June, got divorced in August

Fall 2005: Serious football time in the fabulous football room, made Thanksgiving dinner with Heidi, got a big raise at work finally! Learned about living on my own

Christmas 2005: got my first tree all on my own, held a dinner party at my place for my family of friends, celebrated Christmas with my LA family

January 2006: celebrated my birthday for over a week! You only turn 33 once!

April 2006: became an auntie to Marco Cesare Torre on 04/05/06!!!

Spring 2006: served as temporary Student Services manager and tried to start figuring out my life, lived through normal and not so normal crap at work.

Summer 2006: Girls State at Fresno State and the Governator! Started applying for jobs back East!

September 2006: phone interviews during the first week of classes at UCLA! talk about multi-tasking! ;-)

October 2006: flew to Pittsburgh for interviews and was offered job at Carnegie Mellon on Friday 13th! Spent the weekend in Wellsville and then flew back to LA to plan a cross-country move. Went to the UCLA-Washington State Game at the Rose Bowl (Marco's 1st football game!)

Alessandro, Heidi and Marco @ Rose Bowl October 2006

November 2006: Big month!

• movers came Thursday, November 2nd;
  
• last day of work Friday, November 3rd;
  
• going away party Sunday, November 5th;
  
• packed up car and started my cross-country drive Tuesday, November 7th;

• arrived at mom's Friday, November 10th with NO SPEEDING TICKETS!!!
• moved into new apartment Wednesday, November 15th
• started new job Monday, November 20th
• spent Thanksgiving with family in Ohio and went Black Friday shopping for the 1st time!
  

December 2006: fought forever with the cable company to get cable; USC lost to UCLA; went on my first post-divorce date; spent Christmas in Ohio with my whole family! Went to my first Steelers game on Christmas Eve.


That gets you to the start of 2007...which will be discussed in another blog soon!

I think that should catch you up if you have been out of the loop.

(Repost) A VERY Important Week!!!!

This was originally posted in 2007 for Troy Week. When I woke up this morning and discovered the Bear painted at UCLA, I could not help but think this is still relevant! Fight On!

Enjoy this repost...

TROY WEEK!!!!!

(this is Tommy Trojan wrapped up and being protected for the week)

Fight On Trojans!!!!

Beat UCLA!!!!

One thing that I have always known is that I am a west coast football fan. Having lived on the West Coast and East Coast now as an adult I can confirm that the West Coast is the best place for football viewing. This is simply due to the time difference. It is not because they have better fans because let's be honest most in Los Angeles are unaware that football even exists. I was fortunate to be affiliated with USC & UCLA for my 15 years living in Los Angeles! So it never once eluded me or my scope of what is most important in this world!!! College Football Rivalry Saturday!!!! Last year I cried (hard) when my cable was not hooked up in time for the big game. Should have known that was just the start of a not so good day on a whole! But we will win this year!!!

This years game will be played at the Coliseum. A place that I love and will always have a special place in my heart! This years game is for the PAC-10 title and a trip to the Rose Bowl! This game is what they play the game for folks!!!

So whether you are for USC or UCLA grab a seat and a drink for one of the greatest games of the season!!!

Go USC!!!

Beat UCLA!!!!


***Please refrain from throwing any M&M's. If you must throw something throw a carrot! And all beer bottle brawls must take place in the back yard!***

Healing My Heart

They say time heals
the broken heart
I guess that is a good place for one to start
but…not tonight
Time stands still

Creeping, slipping by, dragging me down

Tonight

I hurt tonight

Oh, I ache…yeah, that’s right

I have given up the fight

Tonight

I

Hurt

Tears sting my eyes and bring little comfort to my beating heart

Fears invade my serenity pushing the teardrops to the ground

Why have I failed and been let down



Deep sadness fills

my

dreams

Lost ---
----abandoned -----

----hopeless-----

Emptiness beyond words

My Dreams

Where have they gone?


© copyright 2007 by Nicole M. Willis

Scoperta del Nicole (discovering nicole)

Welcome to my little piece of the web!

I have started two blogs under a name and title that just does not suit me any longer. I have had a blog on my Myspace page for almost two years now but again it is not *me* any longer.

It is pouring and pounding down rain right now and I have been stumbling over finding a title for my blog. So what IS me? I am still working on discovering that and it is appropriate that I have settled on Discovering Nicole!

It has been a couple years of change for me. I am settled in Pittsburgh. I have been creating a new life here for myself. Before I can make more changes it is time to figure out exactly who I am...so welcome to my journal and stick around as long as you like.




We can discover what is at the end of the rainbow together!