Moving On...

I just about killed another shredder yesterday. Yes, another one! I bought one a few years back to get rid of the mountains of stuff I had held onto for way too long.

Except I killed that one rather quickly. My sister gave me hers since it made too much noise and made her son cry. Yay! More shredding! Except it has sat for a while gathering dust. And the box of stuff sitting next to the door sat there taunting me.

I did not know how much it was taunting me until yesterday when I picked it up, grabbed the shredder and plopped down determined to get through the box. The first pieces were not old, and not taunt worthy material. I thought to myself this is gonna be easy-peasy!

Woah! Holy hell! Wowza!

I got knocked down by the load of stuff in this box! Most of it was my former husband's crap.

Seriously!?! WTH?!?

Then I laughed out loud with the realization that I paid to have it MOVED.

ACROSS the COUNTRY!!!

Hi, my name is Nicole, and I have a problem letting go and moving on!

Quite fitting realization and admission as it is the anniversary of my big move 4 years ago, and even further back, the anniversary of my marriage that did not work.

I woke up this morning thinking that I really suck at moving on and letting go. But really I am pretty good at moving on! It is that pesky letting go piece! And for crying out loud, why do I need to hold onto tax papers from before we had even met! All of this pissed off crap came flying back to me. All over again, I was angry that someone had not paid their taxes for years. And I was cleaning up the mess! Blah, blah, blah.

You know what I am ONLY responsible for my mess!

I love my mess!

I love my life!

So as of today I am letting go...actually as of yesterday for the box of his shit....and looking forward with hope, wonder and possibility!

What are you no longer willing to hold onto? What can you let go of today?

Leave a comment here or tweet about it or post it on facebook.

P.S. More exciting news to come this week!

Coming this Week...

Watch here for new details on my new blog site!

Exciting, huh?

Stay tuned for more...

Sunday Gratitude

I have been in a weird (but not unfamiliar) place of late. I get one thing uprighted and another one falls by the wayside. And it is dark.

All the time, dark. Or so it seems to me! I love this time of year, I really do. The leaves are crunchy and smell like fall with a hint of snow coming. I love settling in for the evening with a nice glass of wine or a hot cup of tea.

It is the time of year that reminds me that I am alone. Not that I am looking for pity, please, I have to admit I quite enjoy my life. But there are times when it creeps in and I miss the company, the friendship, the lover, the knowing look, the touch of the small of my back as I walk in front, the brush of a warm hand on my neck to let me know that I am not alone. I miss that!

I am in this place that creeps up on me now. It was that it was on me constantly and I was sad. It lessened over time and now it just creeps in and reminds me that while I am happy with my life there is one part that I am not. And for now I am going to focus on what I am grateful for while sitting with this tinge of sadness.

• I am hugely grateful to know that sadness does not hurt me and I can sit with it quietly, safely today.
• I am grateful for my health and ability to take care of my house.
• I am grateful for friends all over the world who remind me that I am not alone in the grand scheme of things!
• I am grateful for two amazing sisters that bring me such joy and happiness daily, even when they are bratty and annoying!
• I am grateful for sister-friends who are far from me in location and still deeply and fondly in my heart always! I miss you and love you!
• I am grateful for work that provides me money to do Christmas shopping at a gorgeous place like Phipps Conservatory.
• I am grateful for a quiet, contentment with myself these days that I can sit quietly sipping tea, reading a magazine, planning for the holidays.
• I am grateful for the awareness that I have so much gratitude today!

Namaste!

Peace and Love to you!

What are you grateful for today?